I’ll be fine. I know I will.I just wished I could stop the tears as I remember the way he held me, the way he called me his love. The way, for a moment, I’d almost believed it could be true.I roll over and try to find sleep.In the morning, I ache all over as I climb down from the loft. There is a washing basin outside, so I strip down to my underthings and sit on the small stool to bathe myself. The water is frigid, the cloth is rough, and I don’t really feel like I’m getting any cleaner.The water at the castle was warm.I groan and lean forward, dunking my head in the freezing water to chase away the thoughts.Once I’m as satisfied as I’m going to be with my new standard of cleanliness, I dress in my breeches and shirt. I pull on the heavy boots the old man found in the attic for me, grab a pail, and trudge out into the fields. The sun has barely risen, and I see Cliff—the old farmer—already hard at work, tilling soil.He waves, and I wave back with a smile I don’t feel. The fields are. I may test those waters myself, knowing what the fuck I’m talking about. Someday.She said, “We fell into the exaggeration trap with the Gunthers.”Ash said, “So did we.” We being the royal we, pluralis majestatis, the FBI.Daddy said, “How so?”Alicia said, “We stereotyped them to the lowest common denominator. Ignorant paranoids. Uneducated losers. Irrational government-haters.” She smiled, “Of course that’s true for a lot of them.”I’d read the literature, seen some videos, done some research. The whites-only crowd believes:> Politicians don’t matter. Over two hundred years of voting and things keep getting worse.> The US is really governed from New York, not DC. The UN and world banks run everything. Jews.> Everyone but the true believers are out to get them.In addition there are the usual one-worlder delusions — microchips installed in newborns. The government will seize all your guns. Israel is allowed to do whatever it wants because they’re part of the secret takeover plan. Black.
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